What on earth made that loving woman become a beast overnight?
What could have made that woman you have so much confidence in decide to
destroy you? What brought about the sudden change that has made you to
become more careful due to feelings of insecurity whenever you are
around your woman; the same woman you trusted with your life? Why did
she change from that sweet, humble, caring, virtuous, and beautiful
woman you were once in love with to a total stranger?
Our society tends to heap blame on the woman when it comes to matters
of the heart. Like a friend said; “relationship comes to an end the
moment a woman decides so”. Nigerian women are very good when it comes
to keeping relationships. They can endure all that men put them through
for as long as there is breath in them, but the very moment a woman says
enough, you better watch it because there is nothing as raging and
destructive as the fury of a woman.
I know this won’t go down well with some men
, who hate the truth, but it doesn’t matter if you choose to dislike
me for saying the truth; only the truth shall set you free. I want us to
look at those things men do that can get a woman to turn her back.
Haven’t you heard women make comments like; “I have taken my mind off
him instead of losing my sanity”? When a woman begins to make comments
like this, there is fire on the mountain.
Lies and fake lifestyle
Guys always make the mistake of pretending to be what they are not
just because they want a woman. This is absolute rubbish and should be
stopped. Any woman you get through lies and deceit, you will surely lose
through those same lies and deceit. I know a good number of Nigerian
girls are so inclined to run after money that the importance of true
love is now being swept under the carpet. I don’t think any girl is
worth lying for. A woman who is truly in love with you will remain with
you at all costs. The things every real woman wants to see in you are
vision, leadership ability, and organization.
I see guys struggling so hard to date a billionaire’s daughter. They
would literally empty their accounts to buy her a new posh car as
birthday present. You see them spend all just because they must appear
to be what they are not. What happens after the marriage? You start
complaining about her, that she is not being submissive. Boy, she cannot
be submissive to a husband who is nothing but a liar and deceiver.
To save your neck and your marriage, please be real from the first
date. If all you have in that account is five hundred dollars, please
don’t go on with the lies about hundreds of contracts that have not been
paid for. The lies about your ATM card expiring and your cheque book
either finished or forgotten in the Bahamas during your just concluded
holiday shouldn’t come in. If she loves you, she will go on with you
just the way you are. The only man I advise women to run away from is a
man who does not use his brain and has no vision in life. There is hope
and future for anyone who is focused and hardworking.
Over using the woman
We have very lazy men all over the place. They are the ones who drive
the best of cars (Car Hire), and wear the best designers. They are
always clean shaven with very good fashion sense and American accent to
make girls trip. But like the popular saying goes; empty vessels make
the loudest sound.
We hear them in America complaining about Nigerian ladies going wild
and becoming uncontrollable the moment they get to the USA. So what do
they do? Guys come over here and get women who are science inclined to
marry and then get them into nursing schools over there after which they
stay back and watch the woman work herself to death. Even here in
Nigeria, our men now look out for ready-made ladies all because they
want control without responsibility. If any man cannot provide for his
home, he is worse than an infidel- 1Timothy 5:8.
I see girls with their invisible application forms once a man says he
needs a nurse to marry. I don’t really blame them because out of
ignorance, they fall prey to those lazy men. Nigerian guys are some of
the laziest people over there in the USA and some would even choose
crime in place of a legal job.
There is a friend’s cousin, a young girl who was deceived by one of
these con men into marrying him. The guy came to Nigeria and met this
young, beautiful medical doctor whom he married out of deceit. On
getting to the USA, this lady found out that the guy was a taxi driver.
She started carrying the whole burden of paying bills and taking care of
her three children alone. After a long period, the stress began to tell
on her and she was left with no other option than ask for divorce. When
next you hear them complain about the behaviours of our women over
there, please ask some questions before judging.
Abuse: Physical, Verbal- Emotional
A good number of Nigerian men are guilty of physically abusing their
spouses. I know women can be very annoying, but what makes you a man is
your ability to get her crawling on her feet without you raising a
finger on her. I don’t even know what our female legislators are doing
about this; they all forget themselves the moment they get elected into
office. I am still waiting for that day when there is a law and a
functional body protecting the Nigerian woman from domestic violence.
Some men always come with the defense that the last thing they will
do is raise their hand on a woman. This is good because any man that
beats a woman is nothing but a coward. There are men who will not beat a
woman, but will use their mouths destroy her. A good number of women
have given up on life and have lost hope in their chances of making it
simply because they are in a relationship with a man who constantly
talks down at them. Verbal abuse can take the form of telling her she’s
stupid, useless, and no good. Verbal abuse undermines the woman’s
confidence while giving her low self-esteem. I was once there where I
saw myself struggling to become another woman due to negative words that
had over time gone into my subconscious. But I bless God for the grace
to be out of it and reaching for greater heights.
Be careful what you tell the woman in your life because whatever you
allow her become goes a long way in determining the future of your
children. You should always remind her of how beautiful, wonderful,
smart, and intelligent she is. You build the world when you build a
woman.
There is another group that will neither abuse a woman physically nor
verbally, but everything about their action is wrong. These men abuse
their women emotionally. Emotional abuse is about your attitude towards
her. The fact is that emotional abuse can also be carried out through
words through repeated criticism, disapproval or the man’s refusal to be
satisfied. As a pastor, do you pretend to be preaching to the
congregation when you are indirectly talking to her about last night’s
misunderstanding? Do you praise other women more than you praise your
wife? Think!
If you go on with the abuses physically, emotionally, or verbally, a
time will come when that woman puts up a high wall of defense around
her. You believe beating her is the only way to make her fear and
respect you. The fact is that you are ignorant because when you beat a
woman, she is being hardened and toughened like a man. Once this
happens, you have fire and brimstone raining daily in your home.
Lack of care
A good number of men are selfish and greedy. I lose respect for a man
the moment I see his wife is not being cared for. Your wife is your
glory and her look speaks volumes about you. Stop that attitude of
keeping yourself trimmed and cute for your girlfriends when your wife is
not worthy of a second look. When next you visit that Spa, please take
her along for a treat. Forget about yourself a little and shop for her.
Love is not selfish.
Most guys now talk about Nigerian women being too materialistic; I
agree with you, but to an extent. Why do you go on sleeping with that
woman and letting her give you the fruit of her body when you are not
ready to give her the fruit of your hands? It is even a crime waiting
for a woman to ask for money before you give her. You won’t love me for
this, but it is expected because truth is always bitter. My dear friend,
love gives sacrificially. The easiest way to determine the extent of
your love for a woman is how much sacrifice you are ready to make for
her.
If you go on with your uncaring attitude believing your wife doesn’t really mind,
katakata go bustoo.
Some men join churches where jewelries and beautiful clothes are not
allowed. They make them believe those things are worldly, but they go on
wearing designer suits and shirts; who is fooling who? I love what the
great Evangelist ,Dr Uma Ukpai once said-“...every woman in this church
wants to be the best dressed, brother don’t believe your wife when she
says she doesn’t care about those things; give them to her and see if
she does not appreciate them”.
Inability to satisfy her sexually and emotionally
Guys always get it wrong when it comes to sex in marriage. The rate
of promiscuity is really high because women are starved of sex in
marriage. This is one reason you shouldn’t marry that teenager because
you will be weak over time and will be unable to satisfy her. I know
there are women who are demon-possessed that no amount of love making
can get their eyes off the road. But there are very decent women who
have either gone into extra-marital affairs with men or lesbians. Men
are so engulfed in their businesses and with other women that satisfying
their wife sexually has become a problem. Guys, please look into this
and save our women. When a woman is sexually fulfilled in marriage, just
a look at her face in the presence of the man says it all. She
automatically becomes a
mugu for the man.
Apart from sexual satisfaction, every woman craves acceptance and
appreciation. As a matter of fact some of the fundamental needs in human
nature are the need to be appreciated, loved, accepted, and celebrated.
She wants you to admire her beauty; intelligence, godliness, and hard
work. When are we going to start holding hands together while taking a
stroll in the evening? What stops you from giving her a peck before
marching to the high table with her? When are you going to stand and
make sure she is comfortably seated before taking your own seat? No
matter her age, she still craves for your admiration and wants you to
let the whole world know how much you love her. Celebrate your woman.
Infidelity
They say man by nature is polygamous, but I believe there are still a
few decent men around. I was touched the day a friend who is a Senator
shared his moment of unfaithfulness with me. This man was shedding tears
as he told me about the very first and last time he was lured into
infidelity by a woman. I saw a man who has conscience and who truly
loves his woman.
Infidelity in marriage has a way of destroying the home. You may
think you are getting away with it, but the truth is that as you go out
there to sleep with a woman, there is transference of spirits to your
wife the moment you have sex with her. This is why you see your lovely
wife change over time to become something else. Be careful because you
may never know what spirit that girl carries around. The truth is that
because of infidelity on the part of the man, many women have resorted
to keeping young guys outside, indulging in lesbianism, or probably
engaging their domestic staff.
If you are guilty of doing these things to your woman, you are
gradually turning her into a beast. The moment a woman becomes a beast,
there is no turning back.
